Bona fide

Shall I be nice even to the sly smiles and have my heart mutilated? Or shall I be rude even to the authentic eyes and have my soul annihilated? 

I try to help almost everyone. The ones in pain and the ones faking it. The broken and the ones pretending to be. I try to mend as many shattered souls as I can. Because I don't know how many of them truly need me or how many are undeniably vulnerable, when they need me. I don't know if helping every tangled mind untangle is the wisest way of achieving penance. 

What if all I'm doing is creating the illusion of my being impotent, to the sadistic world? What if all my "immaculate" deeds have hollow outcomes? What if all I've ever done, is turned to mush and I'm perceived as nothing but a gullible mind? 

Yes, I'm afraid too. I'm afraid of being embarrassed about my naivety and being called obtuse. I'm afraid that this karma will not return to me. I'm afraid that I'll lose myself, finding the truest of the spirits. Afraid to be cheated upon. Afraid I won't have the might to see the good in obscure irises anymore. Afraid I won't be ME anymore.